Nascar Sprint Cup Championship 2014 - 36 Homestead

To be honest, I'm not happy with that finish.  Mostly because I didn't win.  Do I sound like a NASCAR driver?

Here's how it went down:
Qualifying had me and Sandy up in 4th and 6th for the start.  Chad 11th and Scot 18th.  Darrel was out for the race.  He couldn't watch...

One mulligan and we got it right...

For a lap or two.  Sandy had to throw it into the wall to keep off of some other idiots.

Coming to the line, Paul Menard caught Scot and spun him around.

Business as usual.

15 laps in, Scot found Danica Patrick.

It was an awkward pit window with half the field in, the other half out.

On the restart at lap 20, My car was uber tight into the turn which then got me loose as I came off and I was in the back of the field.

Chad took out Keselowski on our way back to the line.

We had another long stretch of green after that.  I was battling harder than ever threw what felt like the Great Firewall of China.  Scot and Sandy laid in wait to see what would happen of the next several laps.

Meanwhile, Chad was keeping a fine pace up in 2nd.

Almost halfway through, my car got tight again and did the exact same stunt as before, flinging me back into the wall.  I had made it all the way up to 12th.

About a dozen laps latter, Sandy got wide out of 2 and struck the wall.

He was rejoining the racing line as a thirty-something careened on by.

Sandy then went for a spin.

Chad and I had fallen to the teens as Scot and Sandy continued to keep on eye on things from the back.

Scot grew impatient with Almendinger and brought out another caution.

Coming to the line, old Kese-fucktard decided he needed to hang out with me.  This was the crushing blow that did me in, ruining my car completely for any decent finish.

Closing in on the final laps, Scot punted Cassill

Sandy just narrowly avoided him with no more than a scratch from the wall.

Adding insult to injury, my system locked while going under caution and I barreled right into Menard.  Nope, couldn't go out without trading brightly colored paint with that asshole.

We had one green flag lap left and Scot was really putting on a clinic.

Sandy was getting pretty damn good at avoid these wrecks.  He will be a master in the next series.

Chad ended up placing the best out of the humans.

I was behind him with a miserable 21st.  The finish set me back to 3rd for the series.  After winning 17 races.  Ain't it something?

And the worst of the worst new.  Jr Nation gets to guzzle down its garbage, piss-water soda in celebration of his ill-deserved win.  He placed 6th ahead of Bowyer, me, and Kenseth, who went out from brake failure.

I'll post final results and send out an update for the next series.  It's gonna be good.

Results

Session: Practice

P	#	DRIVER	TIME
1	013	T Nadz	28.673
2	029	M Max	29.181
3	055	C Ferguson	29.340
4	021	T Bear	29.380
5	4	K Harvick	29.647
6	16	G Biffle	29.703
7	99	C Edwards	29.756
8	18	K Busch	29.778
9	2	B Keselowski	29.787
10	88	D Earnhardt Jr	29.825
11	5	K Kahne	29.833
12	24	J Gordon	29.835
13	48	J Johnson	29.852
14	31	R Newman	29.883
15	14	T Stewart	29.899
16	78	M Truex Jr	29.904
17	34	D Ragan	29.935
18	22	J Logano	29.949
19	66	J Burton	29.949
20	11	D Hamlin	29.968
21	41	K Busch2	29.971
22	27	P Menard	29.974
23	20	M Kenseth	29.975
24	47	A Allmendinger	30.004
25	35	E McClure	30.098
26	1	J McMurray	30.100
27	15	C Bowyer	30.119
28	55	B Vickers	30.176
29	38	D Gilliland	30.193
30	40	L Cassill	30.216
31	32	T Kvapil	30.284
32	13	C Mears	30.285
33	9	M Ambrose	30.299
34	43	A Almirola	30.424
35	95	M McDowell	30.426
36	17	R Stenhouse Jr	30.437
37	52	B Labonte	30.442
38	30	D Stremme	30.471
39	36	R Sorenson	30.515
40	77	D Blaney	30.587
41	10	D Patrick	30.623
42	98	J Wise	30.727
43	7	M Annett	30.782

Weather: Cloudy, 84 °F, Southeast 15 mph

Session: Qualifying

P	#	DRIVER	TIME
1	48	J Johnson	29.557
2	88	D Earnhardt Jr	29.608
3	4	K Harvick	29.643
4	013	T Nadz	29.739
5	18	K Busch	29.755
6	021	T Bear	29.765
7	99	C Edwards	29.798
8	24	J Gordon	29.939
9	2	B Keselowski	29.941
10	78	M Truex Jr	29.951
11	055	C Ferguson	29.967
12	16	G Biffle	29.989
13	14	T Stewart	30.001
14	1	J McMurray	30.002
15	20	M Kenseth	30.006
16	22	J Logano	30.007
17	15	C Bowyer	30.023
18	029	M Max	30.031
19	34	D Ragan	30.035
20	31	R Newman	30.056
21	41	K Busch2	30.068
22	27	P Menard	30.089
23	9	M Ambrose	30.120
24	11	D Hamlin	30.134
25	5	K Kahne	30.136
26	66	J Burton	30.146
27	32	T Kvapil	30.300
28	47	A Allmendinger	30.308
29	55	B Vickers	30.406
30	38	D Gilliland	30.443
31	52	B Labonte	30.486
32	35	E McClure	30.489
33	43	A Almirola	30.496
34	13	C Mears	30.519
35	7	M Annett	30.564
36	40	L Cassill	30.575
37	17	R Stenhouse Jr	30.583
38	77	D Blaney	30.603
39	98	J Wise	30.620
40	10	D Patrick	30.672
41	95	M McDowell	30.689
42	30	D Stremme	30.741
43	36	R Sorenson	30.815

Weather: Clear, 84 °F, South 10 mph

Session: Happy Hour

P	#	DRIVER	TIME
1	013	T Nadz	29.440
2	021	T Bear	29.812
3	029	M Max	29.925
4	055	C Ferguson	29.967
5	16	G Biffle	30.030
6	78	M Truex Jr	30.107
7	5	K Kahne	30.146
8	48	J Johnson	30.194
9	11	D Hamlin	30.251
10	4	K Harvick	30.254
11	27	P Menard	30.280
12	18	K Busch	30.286
13	99	C Edwards	30.365
14	20	M Kenseth	30.381
15	66	J Burton	30.394
16	9	M Ambrose	30.395
17	52	B Labonte	30.432
18	41	K Busch2	30.445
19	88	D Earnhardt Jr	30.507
20	24	J Gordon	30.516
21	38	D Gilliland	30.518
22	14	T Stewart	30.547
23	32	T Kvapil	30.552
24	31	R Newman	30.559
25	1	J McMurray	30.561
26	13	C Mears	30.612
27	15	C Bowyer	30.634
28	34	D Ragan	30.772
29	55	B Vickers	30.774
30	35	E McClure	30.792
31	77	D Blaney	30.842
32	95	M McDowell	30.906
33	43	A Almirola	30.946
34	10	D Patrick	30.973
35	40	L Cassill	30.995
36	22	J Logano	30.998
37	17	R Stenhouse Jr	31.071
38	30	D Stremme	31.094
39	47	A Allmendinger	31.105
40	98	J Wise	31.116
41	7	M Annett	31.240
42	2	B Keselowski	31.403
43	36	R Sorenson	31.537

Weather: Clear, 78 °F, South 10 mph

Session: Race

F	S	#	DRIVER	INTERVAL	LAPS	LED	POINTS	STATUS
1	3	4	K Harvick	114.148	67	22*	185	Running
2	1	48	J Johnson	-0.22	67	1	175	Running
3	8	24	J Gordon	-0.32	67	13	170	Running
4	7	99	C Edwards	-0.44	67	0	160	Running
5	20	31	R Newman	-0.57	67	0	155	Running
6	2	88	D Earnhardt Jr	-0.65	67	0	150	Running
7	21	41	K Busch2	-0.73	67	0	146	Running
8	24	11	D Hamlin	-0.83	67	0	142	Running
9	5	18	K Busch	-0.97	67	1	143	Running
10	13	14	T Stewart	-1.05	67	0	134	Running
11	16	22	J Logano	-1.35	67	0	130	Running
12	26	66	J Burton	-1.44	67	0	127	Running
13	23	9	M Ambrose	-1.69	67	0	124	Running
14	17	15	C Bowyer	-1.76	67	17	126	Running
15	22	27	P Menard	-2.04	67	0	118	Running
16	11	055	C Ferguson	-2.71	67	1	120	Running
17	28	47	A Allmendinger	-2.80	67	0	112	Running
18	12	16	G Biffle	-2.85	67	0	109	Running
19	10	78	M Truex Jr	-2.97	67	0	106	Running
20	27	32	T Kvapil	-3.29	67	0	103	Running
21	4	013	T Nadz	-3.32	67	12	105	Running
22	19	34	D Ragan	-3.42	67	0	97	Running
23	29	55	B Vickers	-3.54	67	0	94	Running
24	31	52	B Labonte	-3.65	67	0	91	Running
25	30	38	D Gilliland	-3.65	67	0	88	Running
26	41	95	M McDowell	-3.80	67	0	85	Running
27	18	029	M Max	-4.00	67	0	82	Running
28	32	35	E McClure	-5.92	67	0	79	Running
29	37	17	R Stenhouse Jr	-6.66	67	0	76	Running
30	6	021	T Bear	-9.22	67	0	73	Running
31	36	40	L Cassill	-9.56	67	0	70	Running
32	35	7	M Annett	-13.40	67	0	67	Running
33	25	5	K Kahne	-14.07	67	0	64	Running
34	34	13	C Mears	-15.36	67	0	61	Running
35	42	30	D Stremme	-15.62	67	0	58	Running
36	43	36	R Sorenson	-18.47	67	0	55	Running
37	38	77	D Blaney	-1L	66	0	52	Running
38	9	2	B Keselowski	-1L	66	0	49	Running
39	15	20	M Kenseth	-3L	64	0	46	Brakes
40	14	1	J McMurray	-4L	63	0	43	Piston
41	39	98	J Wise	-12L	55	0	40	Retired
42	33	43	A Almirola	-12L	55	0	37	Retired
43	40	10	D Patrick	-40L	27	0	34	Fuel Lk

Caution Flags: 0 (0 laps)

Lead Changes: 7 (7 drivers)

Weather: Clear, 77 °F, Southeast 8 mph

Pitstop Frequency: 2x

AI Strength: 93%